forumfightfandomcom-20200214-history
Omni's Rules of Forum Fight
A troll parody of Forum Fight created by Omni in March 2012. Original Rules by Omni Omni's rules of forum fight! (Note: this is a parody, don't be surprised if people start invoking rule 2 if you invoke rule 1, etc.) Rule 1 of forum fight: If someone kills you, pretend like they never posted. Rule 2 of forum fight: If you kill someone, they will pretend like you never posted. Rule 3 of forum fight: Everyone important is already here. No matter how logical your arguments are, nobody cares because we're better than you. Rule 4 of forum fight: Nobody cares about anything you post. Rule 5 of forum fight: If you have a problem with my behavior which you would like forcefully resolved, please kindly bring it to War of Stickmen instead. Rule 6 of forum fight: Rule 5 is always right. Rule 7 of forum fight: If nobody respects what you say, create some sort of plot. You may then gain one (1) point on your Poetic License, which can be cashed in for one of anything. If your plot is good, you may add an extra point onto your card. WARNING: If nobody likes your plot and you add another point anyway, it will soon be very, very necessary for you to invoke Rule 1. Rule 8 of forum fight: Or, you know, you could just get a life. Rule 9 of forum fight: There should have been a fight club reference. Rule 10 of forum fight: If all else fails, rules 1 and 2 are the best. Rool 11 ov forem fite: iff u cant spel, no*boedy reeds ur postz r!u(# 12 of F0RUM F1G#7: 1F u u53 1337 5p33k, n080dy r33ds ur p0575 Rule 13 of forum fight: Invoking Rule 8 is heresy and WILL be punished. Rule 14 of forum fight: Play War of Stickmen or King of the Hill. Neither of these are more active, but if you do, you will gain 1 point of Omni-Friendship, which can be cashed in for... ABSO-*******-LUTELY NOTHING, YOU'RE WELCOME. Rule 15 of forum fight: If a member of the FFA kills you and you are a noob, don't bother invoking rule 1 because we've seen enough of it. Rule 16 of forum fight: Don't respect rule 15, killing your kind is fun. Killing you again is even better. Rule 17: Make sure to use nukes and bronze daggers wherever possible. We love this kind of thing so much, we get so happy that someone will accidentally kill you from their joy. Rule 18: Either your main battle theme is by Two Steps from Hell or ES Posthumous, or your battle theme is not awesome. (This rule can be reversed in special cases.) Rule 19: Forum Fight is a tyranny by majority. Rule 20: If you don't like Rule 19, you can either abuse Rule 1 a large amount, start your own thread, or just invoke Rule 8. (Note: see rule 13 as far as the last one goes) Rule 21: Don't talk **** about Doctor Who. Do not bother seeing rule 1 as it will not help you. Rule 22: "Absolute" does not mean "Grand Poobah." If you fail to remember this, please see rule 1 for what you should do next. Rule 23: Rule 1 will always result in use of Rule 2, and vice versa. Rule 24: 93% of people don't get this joke. If you are one of the 7% that do, congratulations, you're probably my grandma. Rule 25: Rule 15 was kind of unnecessary, as it's not going to change years of forum fight tradition. All the best, it keeps Rule 16 in good shape. Rules from Magery You forgot a few rules. Rule 26: You know, you could REALLY get a life. Rule 27: The longer your posts, the better they are. No exceptions. Rule 28: Invoking Rule 27 to blast someone for breaking another rule gives you a +10 aura of Real-Life Coolness. Rule 29: Anyone who dares to invoke Rule 26 will lose a life, as payment for the one they wish to gain. Rule 30: Valar Morghulis. Rule 32: Rule 31, no exceptions. Unless you're a hardcore troll, in which case you never weren't breaking rule 31. (No, I refuse to allow Rule 34 to be included. Of course, this means that Omni will now probably include it. Shutting up now). Master 1's Rule Rule 31: Don't be a dick. Omni's Final Rules Rule 33: Rule 18 may be reversed if your victory theme is the trololo song. Rule 34: You used ctrl+f to find this rule, didn't you, you sick-Rule 35: If you talk bad about kittens, Forum will find you hack your computer delete your bank kill you kill your ghost and send you to hell. Then he will get angry. Bran's Rule Rule whatevernumber: Never, ever, under any circumstances, try to get into a fistfight with me, you will not win, unless you're Magery, in that case, you might win, but still doubtful.